Reclaiming My Creativity

Hey friends, welcome to the blog.

I’ve been blogging for clients for years now, but I’ve never taken the time to dive into blogging as my own creative outlet. Do I have journals filled with thoughts? 100%! But very few of those thoughts make it off those pages and into the world.

I consider this blog to be a piece in a much larger puzzle I’m working on - the reclamation of my creativity.

I’ve always considered myself a “creative”, and I often took pride in that title. I believe humans are inherently designed to create, regardless of the outlet. It’s a crucial piece of the human experience. But what do you do when your income solely relies on your creativity?

I quickly learned the answer to that question over the last few years.

When you’re creating at someone else’s will, the lines between your own creativity and work start to blur. I reached a point in my last position where the last thing I wanted to do outside of work was create… regardless of if the work I was creating inside of my job actually fulfilled me. I spent 40+ hours per week designing, writing, and leading a team of other creatives - but in reflection, none of it gave me the spark that creating on my own did. I loved my job, and I loved the people, but I found myself going through the motions. Weeks turned to months, and months turned to literal years without me stepping outside of my work and creating anything for myself.

Then I was let go from that job, and my entire world was flipped upside down in a matter of minutes… literally. The title I had held on so dearly to was gone. Looking back I saw that title as a prize. A “Look how creative I am” and “I did it even when you thought I couldn’t”. (Which is a whole other can of worms.) But suddenly I was back to square one.

If I didn’t have the title - where was my creativity?

Oh friend, it was inside of me the whole time.

I think a piece of me had kept my real creativity locked away. It wasn’t the title that made me who I am, it was the abilities I’ve nurtured over the past seven years. It wasn’t the praise I got from clients, it was my ability to take a blank screen and turn it into something impactful.

It only took a few days to realize that my creativity didn’t leave with the job loss. It was unleashed.

For the first time since high school, I sat down in front of a sewing machine.

I picked up a book I’ve been meaning to reread for a year.

I took a yoga class.

Hell, I’m even writing this blog.

And most importantly - I’m planning on freelancing again.

I no longer have to abide by the boxes put in place for me. I can work with the clients that align with who I am, and create for people who are working toward the same goals I am. More importantly - I can create for myself again.